Constitution of KarmaCourt
PREAMBLE We, the users of KarmaCourt, at http://www.reddit.com/r/KarmaCourt, decree this charter document to which we are bound, drafted in the interest of protecting the enjoyability and originality of the website Reddit (http://www.reddit.com) and all of its subsidiary subreddits through the satirical exposition of reported karma abuse and general contemptible actions heretofore identified as wrongdoing. The document we hereby provide must also serve to protect the originality and enjoyability of these very Courts of Karma via the precise and imprecise definition of the purpose and modus operandi of the courts and its members. If you haven't yet, Read our RULES, and if you see a spelling or grammar mistake here or on any wiki page, just tell us. ARTICLE I. Karma is worth something It sure isn't, but we are going to treat it like it is. Your karma, their karma, our karma, it is really really worth defending. Did a Redditor steal your words and pass them off as their own, and get all the nice karma for their crime? Take the case to KarmaCourt. Did a Redditor trick people into giving them karma under false pretenses? Take the case to KarmaCourt. KarmaCourt will take the case to the highest legal spheres of its karma wisdom, the lawyers will prosecute and defend, the rabble will shake their fists in the air and scream rabbly things, the jury will follow the case and vote. The judge will take all of this into account and will deliver a final verdict and sentence. The sentence will be ignored. But it was fun getting there! ARTICLE II. Your integrity as a Redditor is to be protected It sure isn't, but we will pretend it is. You spend half your life on this site and the quality of that 'existence' is yours to defend. You made that pic of that cat falling on its face? Somebody else reposted the pic and said it was their cat? BUT IT WAS YOUR CAT! YOUR PIC! HOW DARE THEY! Take the case to KarmaCourt. Has your Reddit experience, your Reddit life you hold so dear, been devalued by some atrocious happening? Got any evidence? You sure? Take the case to KarmaCourt. We'll make it our mission to give you the best dose of justice you could hope for. ARTICLE III. People can't lie on the Internet They sure can, but we don't play it like that. They lied? A big lie? For karma? Did they do you out of karma? Were Redditor's karma affected? Was karma somehow involved in any way? TAKE THE CASE TO KarmaCourt, we'll discuss the evidence and we'll get to a verdict. Your verdict! ARTICLE IV. KarmaCourt is funny satire KarmaCourt is purely for the laughs, the cases are just a vehicle for funny. We don't like serious arguments, and we don't solve private battles. We only fight for Karma Justice. Participation in the courts must be light-hearted and humorous. The quality of the content in comments and posts in the courts are moderated by the Justices, who may remove a case if it's dull, stupid, rubbish or generally not entertaining. If it's entertaining it'll be fine. KarmaCourt accepts, and more importantly expects a wide range of styles in the deliveries of the various players. Song is perfectly acceptable, so is 17th century English. So is 17th century Spanish, if you can do it and it's entertaining. Normal run of the mill legalese is also tolerated, although an effort must be shown to keep things light-hearted and entertaining at all levels. Let's remember that the accused is not the enemy, and may often whole-heartedly agree with the gravity of their crimes, and may well prefer to join in the fun and satire and general silliness and stupidity. ARTICLE V. KarmaCourt demands Civility Conduct in the courts must follow the rules of Rediquette. We also require of our users that their conduct be civil, and we strictly forbid any sexist/homophobic/racial language as well as personal insults. Don't even think about it. This is a theatrical subreddit. For the show to continue, comments and posts deemed as bad quality may be removed by the Justices. KarmaCourt moderation does not guarantee a warning before removing offensive comments, posts or users. Play nice. Don't be an asshole. Don't be anything that could be defined by the gratuitous mentioning of genitalia. Feel free to message the mods if you noticed a removal and you are genuinely unsure of the reason. ARTICLE VI. The Bill of Rights We don't want many laws, we just want lots of discussion and fun. Some rights, however, are deemed necessary for an acceptable processing of a case. Those are: # A defendant has a right to legal representation. If nobody comes forward to represent the accused the trial cannot continue. # A defendant may not be tried for the same crime once they have been acquitted or convicted. # A redditor may declare themselves attorney on behalf of the defense or the prosecution and join the trial. # Statute of Limitations: a redditor may not be accused of a crime if it has been 21 days or more since the offense was committed, however it can be used as evidence for future trials. # Participants in the courts have both the freedom to stay silent and freedom from being down-voted/witch hunted, in KarmaCourt and all linked threads. Don't downvote or witch hunt in a case or in a link from a case. Ever. # Redditors have the right to post on any subreddit without fear of prosecution if they adhere to mentioned subreddit's laws. Redditors may not be prosecuted for their playing style or manner in the courts as long as they follow sub rules. # To maintain a safe and protective environment, Karma Court strictly prohibits any personal information being published or shared, even if said information has been published or shared already. This includes but is not limited to: It follows that personal information about a Redditor may not be used as evidence. That's pretty obvious since you can't even mention any personal info. # Redditors have the right to ask for a trial by Judge and Jury. Below for Roles. ARTICLE VII. The Prosecution - Mandatory role for a Trial to unravel. The prosecution team is comprised of the plaintiff and prosecuting attorneys. Anybody can be prosecuting attorney. Their job is to provide evidence showing that a Karmacrime has occurred and to demonstrate the magnitude of the impact of said crime on the victim or victims. The burden of proof resides with the prosecution, they have to prove the defendant guilty. The prosecution want justice to be served in their favour, and against the defendant. ARTICLE VIII. The Defense - Mandatory role for a Trial to unravel. The defense team is comprised of the defendant, who is the person accused of committing a karmacrime, or karmacrimes, and their defending attorneys. Unless the defendant specifically states that they will represent themselves, there must be a defense attorney allocated to the defendant for the trial to proceed. Anybody can be defense attorney. Their job is to refute the prosecutions allegations and evidence and establish the relative innocence of the accused. Defense Attorneys have the right to create a motion to dismiss the trial and have that motion considered and ruled upon before the trial starts. The defense wants the defendant to get the best result possible. ARTICLE IX. The Judge - Mandatory role for a Trial to unravel. The judge is in charge of the correct progression of the Trial. To be judge a user must have a history in the courts, and /r/KCBAR Certification. They are in charge of organizing the trial and may do so as per their own style of judging. Judges should factor in this constitution, and the subreddit rules in which the incident occurred. For a case, after the trial thread is made, prosecution opens, then defense retort: but. Apart from that, it's up to the judge. They start the proceedings by somehow calling the court to order, settle disputes between the parties and generally ensure justice is happening in a fair, just, and entertaining fashion. They will view the juries vote and will decide the verdict and sentence. If there are not enough volunteers for juror, the judge may provide a verdict without the juries vote. They can't be dicks though. Red text is for use only by the presiding judge(s). Attempts to dismiss a case should be given ample time for discussion. This is for fun, so unless the case is clearly going nowhere, Judges should rule on dismissing a case carefully. Give both parties time to appropriately respond, and make your decision for the betterment of the courts. The Verdict issued by a Judge is very real! Not really. But we act like it. ARTICLE X. The Jury The jury is comprised of jurors. Redditors may volunteer to be jurors throughout the case, at the discretion of the presiding judge. Once they volunteer, they must check on the case regularly and follow the arguments of prosecution and defense, without engaging them. Attorneys are not to engage in discussions or present arguments to jurors after they have been released for deliberation. They will finally be called upon to vote, via pm to the judge. The judge may then take that vote into account for the verdict. A biased jury might lose it's influence on the outcome of the trial. ARTICLE XI. The Bailiff - Recommended The Bailiff is in charge of the smoothness of the court banter, and can interject to stop arguments, morons or riots in the courtroom. The bailiff should nudge attorneys if it looks like they might have forgotten to respond, and should also nudge the jurors for their votes when it is their time to vote as decreed by the presiding judge. The bailiff may not call himself a "borliff", unless he is Wolfdragoon97. ARTICLE XII. The Justices The Justices of KarmaCourt are the mods of the sub. Their job is to ensure the good functioning of the sub, and protect the principles of good fun and entertainment the sub hopes to provide. They must protect the values of KarmaCourt but also the values of Reddit. They have that responsibility towards the sub and as such may resolve any disputes, may remove/replace judges and attorneys, and may generally intervene on any level at any time. Their decision is final. ARTICLE XIII. The Other Roles There are as many roles as can be imagined by the people willing to fulfill them. Stenographers help with case formatting and can be called upon to provide an up-to-date case file that may contain the progression of the trial and the different roles declared throughout. Reporters swarm to popular cases in order to inform the KCU (KarmaCour Universe) of our daily happenings. It's also a great excuse to add your own satirical rendition of the trial and its development. The rabble is everybody else in the courts. That means you too. The rabble must talk, protest, chat and get their opinions heard. The rabble is the people of KarmaCourt, and KarmaCourt is the court of the people. It's a party. ARTICLE XIV. Timing and commitment A Redditor that takes on a role in a case must be able to fulfill that role within reasonable expectations. For example, if you know you aren't going to be around for a day or so during the trial, don't take on the job of attorney or judge because the case will sag and fail. A case cannot stop, even though we are all fine with waiting a bit if required. A case should complete in under 3 days, although some cases may take longer. If a case is inactive for 48 hours, it is considered abandoned and the participants will have that fail on their permanent record. Repeat offenders will have their attorney rights withheld, and may lose /r/KCBAR Certification or be barred from judging. It is good practice to warn Attorneys and jury members that it is their turn, usually by the Bailiff. Participants must check on the case through their own volition, and are responsible for keeping the case running. Anyone missing can be replaced as needed. Appendice I. Definitions: * Satire - sat·ire ˈ(saˌtīr) - noun: the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. * /r/MockKarmaCourt - (mɒk, k4rmɒk) - noun: Court that is used for small claims, lame internal conflicts, light hearted arguments, and non-sensical stuffs. Appendice II. Examples of Charges There are many Karma Crimes that can occur while browsing Reddit. The following are common examples of crimes. Do not feel limited to these crimes only. The overseeing judge has the final word in establishing a sentence. Charges remain open to interpretation to pertain to a case at hand. The charges listed below are often used as a precedent for future accusations and to better understand the cases. (1). Douchebaggery - When one is being a douche. (2). Defamation - Tarnishing another Redditor's username. (3). LiarLiarPantsOnFire.zip - User using ruse or malice with the intent to misguide other users. (4). OhShit.exe - Intentional crime that results in Reddit Gold. (5). GrandTheft.jpg - Claiming credit for Original Content of another user. (6). Obstruction of Justice - Impeding or interfering with an investigation, such as submitting false screenshots, deleting evidence, or providing false evidence to the court. (7). Trying to make people believe some crazy ex kidnapped your cat definitely a no-no. Fuck that. GUILTY! (8). Other - Literally anything else you want. We like creative names for charges. Ex: Not_Wr!ting.Creative~Charges.(NTSC).ScR1080p.tar.avi Too convoluted? Nah. Appendice III. Amendments 1) As long as the redditor cites the source accordingly, posting content from another Internet source to Reddit is legal and not allowed to be used as a charge. 2) All users are guaranteed the right to trial by judge, jury. In order for a trial by combat to occur all participants must be willing and accept the proposition. It is up to the discretion of the judge to figure out how to manage the trial, we suggest /r/DuelingCorner as a good place to start. Have fun, and use protection. (Like shields and armor, get your mind out of that gutter!) 3) Precedent. While many wish for a consistent sentencing of crimes, it is the belief of the Court that each and every trial is different and unique. Due to this, the justices remind you that while precedent exists and can be used in court (to the discretion of the judge of course), it is dumb and doesn't actually matter. The Supreme Court urges users to completely forget that any precedent exists; if you cannot do that then try banging your head against the wall for a bit, that might help you forget.